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The Best Bagels

Animal Farm

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    Russet Potato

  • LocationThat state that no one cares about
Here's a little tale I wrote about bagels. Please imagine that all characters are wearing Victorian-Era clothing for added effect.

The Best Bagels

Once upon a time, someone began to make bagels and sell them. Only those with money and understanding of the bagel could fully appreciate and acquire sustenance from the bagel. He was called the creator.

One day, someone bought some bagels, converted it to a form where others could understand and appreciate them, and let others take them. He wanted others to be able to appreciate the wonder of the creator's bagels. He set some rules on when to take them but couldn't really enforce their rules. His distribution site was small, and so not everyone knew about it. He was called the distributor.

Some time later, a person decided to collect all the converted bagels from various distributors and give them all out at one site. They ignored the distributor's rules and also began selling ad space around their site. He was called the aggregator.

A short while later, someone walked by the much grander aggregate site and took a converted bagel from the aggregator. He was amazed by the quality of the converted bagel and began to go there regularly. He was called the receiver.

Some distributors became annoyed because their converted bagels were being taken and given out without regard to their rules. They appealed to the receivers to come directly to them when getting converted bagels.

Many of the receivers ignored the distributors and continued to get their converted bagels from the much more convenient aggregator, who by this point had made quite a sum of money from selling ad space.

Several days later, the distributor bought a bagel as usual and converted it, but this time put bird shit in the bagel. The aggregator took it as usual and receivers got their converted bagels from the aggregator as usual.
Switch to present tense here
Later, the receiver goes to the aggregator and complains about the shit in the converted bagel. The aggregator claims that he neither made nor converted the bagel. He points to the distributor and says that all converting was done by him.

The receiver goes to the distributor and complains that the converted bagel has shit in it. The receiver demands that the shit be taken out and that future converted bagels contain no shit.

The distributor tells the receiver that he should have listened to him or this wouldn't have happened. The receiver tells the distributor that no one will take their converted bagels if there is shit in them. The receiver also states that they have no right to put shit in the converted bagel since it is not their bagel to begin with.

The distributor shrugs and tells the receiver that if he doesn't want a shitty bagel then he shouldn't take it. The receiver claims that the distributor has abandoned his original purpose of spreading the bagel's wonder and abandoned the receiver. The distributor responds by saying that it is the receiver who has abandoned him.

Edited by penguin71, 12 February 2012 - 12:05 AM.

Posted 11 February 2012 - 11:32 PM

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The Best Bagels

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    Baked Potato

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nice story, and soooooo true!

Posted 11 February 2012 - 11:43 PM


    Russet Potato

  • LocationThat state that no one cares about
I'm glad you liked it. Everyone loves bagels of course.

I hope that everyone reading actually understands what I'm really talking about. If you don't, understand that my story follows the same train of thought as Animal Farm.

Edited by penguin71, 12 February 2012 - 12:05 AM.

Posted 11 February 2012 - 11:54 PM

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The Best Bagels

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    Fried Potato

  • Locationunfathomable chasm
this is great, wow. awesome use of bagels as an allusion XD

Posted 12 February 2012 - 12:45 AM

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    Couch Potato

  • Locationfuttocking away~
But I like big bagel shops ;~;

Posted 12 February 2012 - 12:51 AM

fut-tock [fuht-uhthinsp.pngthinsp.pngk]

noun 

any of a number of timbers forming the lower, more curved portion of the frame in a wooden hull.

 


    Russet Potato

  • LocationThat state that no one cares about
Ironically, I used to live near a bagel factory. They always had the best bagels. But once I moved, I couldn't eat store-bought bagels because they weren't as good ;_; True story.

Lately though, there's a medium-sized bagel store called Batoto that tries it's best to get the best bagels. Although I find the lack of bagels disturbing compared to big bagel chains, it's comforting because most people there care more about the bagels than those who gorge on them in the biggest stores.

Edited by penguin71, 12 February 2012 - 01:25 AM.

Posted 12 February 2012 - 01:24 AM

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The Best Bagels

Typesetter/Blogger for FKMTkrazy

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    Fried Potato

  • Locationunfathomable chasm
i used to voluntarily work for a big bagel store aggregator but i didn't really get along with the other people there. sure, the selection of bagels were enormous but the store itself was full of whiny customers who, i guess, have a lot of feelings towards their bagels and tend to troll the store.

Posted 12 February 2012 - 04:41 AM

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    Russet Potato

  • LocationVoluntary Prison
*clapping* A story well-told. You have taken a serious and complicated topic and transformed it into a straightforward and delicious lesson. Well done. More people need to read this, keep spreading the word. Meanwhile I am off to satisfy my sudden craving for bagels.

Posted 12 February 2012 - 10:32 PM

"Life isn't about lasting through the storms, its about learning to dance in the rain."

    Russet Potato

  • LocationNew Zealand
Bravo. *claps*

A well done allusion.

:D

Posted 15 February 2012 - 04:05 AM